Stalking

Legal definition: “willful, malicious and repeated following and harassment combined w/the credible threat intended to make the victim fear death or serious injury.”

Estimate 1 in 20 women will become stalking targets at some point in their lives. Both men and women can be either perpetrators or victims, but most cases involve men stalking women.

The University of Denver has an office dedicated to working with students, staff, and faculty on issues of gender violence. The Gender Violence Education and Support Services office located in Nelson Residence Hall provides free and confidential advice to survivors of gender violence as well as their friends and family. Gender violence encompasses sexual assault, stalking, dating and domestic violence. Please call 303-871-3853 or email Lisa Ingarfield, the Program Director for an appointment.

Two categories of stalking behavior:

“Love Obsession Stalkers” (20 – 25%) – develop love fixation on another person w/whom they have never had any personal relationship. May stalk celebrities or regular, ordinary people.

“Simple Obsession Stalkers” (70 – 80%) – have had a personal or romantic relationship w/their victims before the stalking behavior began. Victim usually has become the stalker’s sole source of self-esteem. When victim tries to break off the relationship, perpetrator’s thinking evolves from “If I can just prove how much I love you” to “I can make you love me” to “If I can’t have you, nobody else will.” Stalking cases which developed from domestic violence patterns are the most common and potentially lethal.

Stalking is a crime in all fifty states. It is essential to document every stalking incident very thoroughly. Victims may seek to obtain a restraining order from the local court. Nevertheless, restraining orders are not foolproof and may create a false sense of security. Victims may also use the law when they determine that the perpetrator has broken the law by entering the victim’s residence w/out permission, by stealing or destroying property, or by physically assaulting the victim.

Stages of stalking

• Mental Obsession: Stalker preoccupied w/intrusive thoughts regarding the victim. Stalker unable to stop thinking about the victim. This type of obsession often occurs at the beginning of a relationship during the infatuation stage, or at the end of a relationship when the stalker feels rejected.

• Surveillance: The stalker follows the victim to collect information. Surveillance allows stalker to watch victim in natural habitat. Info about the victim collected from various sources &mdahs; observation, coworkers, friends, family, and unsuspecting others. Direct approaches range from reading victim’s mail to going through victim’s trash.

• Harassment: During harassment, the stalker attempts to either seduce or intimidate the victim into compliance. The stalker crosses the line from observation of to interaction w/the victim. In the beginning, the stalker may attempt to be attentive, charming, or even romantic. The stalker remains congenial as long as the victim responds favorably. However, if the victim rebuffs or ignores the stalker’s attempts at courtship or control, a more negative campaign of harassment may result.

• Extermination: This is a lethal phase of stalking because the perpetrator has now realized no possibility exists for any relationship with the victim. The stalker may not see any alternative but to kill the victim and frequently him or herself.

While the progression of these levels is common, no stalking case is completely predictable.

Recommendations

(From the National Victims Center) — presented in order of escalating danger from preventive measures to responding to imminent danger:

1. Notify the stalker to stop. You or your attorney can send a registered letter to the
   stalker requesting that the behavior cease. Treat all threats as serious and notify law enforcement immediately.
2. Tell everyone you know what is going on. Give residence hall directors, campus security, friends, coworkers, relatives, and neighbors a description or picture of the stalker and vehicles, and have them document everything they see. Warn them not to give the stalker any information about you. Have coworkers or family members screen visitors and calls. Give your address and phone number to as few people as possible.
3. Document everything carefully. Take pictures of destroyed property, injuries inflicted on the victim, or other evidence. Save all letters or notes written by the stalker. Save answering machine messages. Log dates and times of all unwanted contact.
4. Secure the residence. Change locks and secure spare keys. Install solid doors w/deadbolt locks. Post a “no trespassing” sign on the edge of your property. Improve lighting and visibility around your house. Change your phone number to unlisted. Obtain a post office box.
5. Vary your behavior. Don’t follow the same routine every day. Change your driving routes and times when you usually do things. Limit or eliminate walking or jogging alone. Try to stay in public places.
6. If you move don’t leave a “paper trail” by having mail forwarded to your new address. Take all records (medical, financial, school) with you.

7. Take care of yourself. Join a support group or consider therapy to help you deal w/stress. Develop your support system.

8. Develop a safety plan:
   • Or have quick access to important phone numbers including:
     Law enforcement
     Safe places (friends, shelters, etc.)
     Attorneys
     Trusted people to help you when safety is secured (child care, pet care, etcd.)
   • Be ready for a quick departure:
     Pack a small suitcase for yourself (and children)
     Have reserve money stashed
     Gather critical documents (birth certificates, prescriptions, social security information, passports, creditors’ numbers)
   • Alert critical people of your situation:
     Family and friends
     Law enforcement/security
     Employers/coworkers
9. Victims in Imminent Danger: Attempt to locate a safe place:
   • Police stations
   • Residences of family or friends
   • Shelters or local churches
   • Public areas (stalker may be less likely to create a public disturbance)
10. Call 911 or other emergency number

Note: The above information is not intended to be a strict set of guidelines, but rather to give victims options. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that if you follow any or all of these suggestions that you will be safe.