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Consent is Sexy

What is Consent?

  • Consent is a voluntary mutual agreement. It’s informed, sober, honest, clear, and involves the word “yes” from each person involved. That means there’s discussion and clear communication
  • Consent should be freely given: it should never be coerced, be forced, involve pressure, intimidation or threats
  • Consent should be mutually agreed upon: with a clear understanding of what is being asked for and consented to
  • Consent must never be assumed or implied, even if you're in a relationship. Just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean that you always have consent to have sex with your partner.
  • Consent may be withdrawn at any time, and when it is withdrawn all sexual activity must stop immediately
  • Consent can’t legally be given by a person who is intoxicated. If you're too drunk to make decisions and communicate with your partner, you're too drunk to consent
  • Consent doesn’t mean “no.” And, the absence of a "no" doesn't mean "yes"

What is Not Consent?

Simply stated, sexual assault includes, but is not limited to, any physical act that is sexual in nature and performed without the effective consent of all parties.  If one person does not want the sexual act to be happening, the other person is committing sexual assault. 

  • It is not consent when you partner is:
  • Silent or not responding
  • Avoiding the question
  • Using uncertain statements such as, “I’m not sure if I’m ready.” “I don’t know if I want to.” “I think I’ve had too much to drink.” “I’m scared.”
  • Expanding what something may mean (e.g.: A yes to “Do you want to go back to my place?” is only giving consent to physically go back to your place) • Alcohol/drug affected responses
  • Changing mind after saying yes
  • Being pressured or coerced to saying yes
  • “Giving in”
  • Entitlement through a committed relationship
  • Absence of a clear yes
  • When your partner says no, she/he really does not mean yes

What is Sexy?

  • Sexy is intimate acts with consent
  • Sexy is talking about intimate acts with your partner and setting your boundaries
  • Sexy is listening to and being listened to by your partner - because it shows caring and respect
  • Sexy is being open and honest
  • Sexy is respecting yourself and standing up for your beliefs and values
  • Sexy is about respecting your partner too
  • Sexy is knowing how to protect yourself and your partner against pregnancy and STIs.

Why is consent sexy?

  • Intimate acts are sexiest when both partners want to engage in them - without feelings of pressure, intimidation or fear.
  • When your partner asks for consent it shows that he or she cares about you, respects you and your boundaries. Caring is sexy.
  • Giving Consent shows you want your partner as much as they want you - and that's sexy.
  • Consent is talking about sexual acts - real, confident, open communication. The practice of consent will naturally create a more caring, more responsive, respectful love life for you both. And that's sexy!

DU students think consent is sexy! Check out what they had to say in this consent is sexy video!

What does DU's Honor Code say about consent?

Effective consent is defined as informed, mutually understandable words and/or actions which indicate a willingness to participate in and/or allow a specific activity, freely and actively given by a person with the current mental capacity to make rational decisions. A person may be without such capacity due to the influence of alcohol and/or other drugs. Consent is not effective if it results from the use of physical force, threats, intimidations, or coercion. A person always retains the right to revoke consent at any point during an activity.

What does the state of Colorado law say about consent?

Legal definition of consent (18-1-505)

Unless otherwise provided by this code or by the law defining the offense, assent does not constitute consent if:
(a) It is given by a person who is legally incompetent to authorize the conduct; or
(b) It is given by a person who, by reason of immaturity, mental disease or mental defect, or intoxication, is manifestly unable and is known or reasonably should be known by the defendant to be unable to make a reasonable judgment;
(c) It is given by a person whose consent is sought to be prevented by the law defining the offense; or
(d) It is induced by force, duress, or deception.