| Cultural
Etiquette
Cultural
Dos and Taboos
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The standard greeting is a smile, often accompanied
by a nod, wave, and it may sometimes include a verbal
greeting. Friends and family members usually embrace,
finishing the embrace with a pat or two on the back.
In business situations, a firm handshake is used. Feeble
handshakes are viewed negatively as weakness. Men usually
wait for women to offer their hand before shaking.
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The backslap -- a self-explanatory slap on the back
from one person to another -- is a sign of friendship.
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In general, friends of the same sex do not hold hands.
If cases where men do, indeed, hold hands, it can probably
be interpreted as a sign of sexual preference.-
The greeting "how are you?" is typical but
it is not an inquiry about one's health or well-being.
It is a perfunctory greeting. The best response is short,
such as "Fine, thank you."
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The standard American conversation starter is "What
do you do?" --- meaning "What kind of work
do you do, and for whom?" This is not considered
rude or boring as it may be in other cultures. Indeed,
work is an important aspect of the American lifetsyle,
making discussions of work fairly standard fare.
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Compliments are exchanged very often and are often used
as conversation starters.
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In terms of paralanguage, when pointing or indicating,
one can use the index finger. Note, however, that it
is not polite to point at a person. Note also that while
direct eye contact shows that one is sincere, it should
be tempered and not too intense. Among non-Anglo populations,
people may look away as a means of showing respect.
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When giving an item to one person, one may toss it or
hand it over with only one hand.
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Until one knows a person well, it is best to avoid discussing
religion, money, politics, or other controversial subjects.
Some common topics of conversation include place and
type of work done, travel, foods (and diet), exercise,
sports, music, movies, and books.
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In social situations, American co-workers or friends
will probably enjoy learning a toast from one's home
country or culture. Sometimes, this cultural exchange
can be a pleasant entry point to conversation.
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Before smoking, one should ask if others mind, or wait
to see if others smoke. Smoking is increasingly prohibited
in public places such as in airplanes, in office buildings,
even in stadiums.
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Before visiting a friend, one should call ahead. Dropping
in on friends, unannounced, is not common practice.
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When eating out at restaurants, it is normal to share
the cost of the bill with friends. This practice is
called "splitting the bill", "getting
separate checks", or as it was called years ago,
"going Dutch." If one is invited out for business,
one's host will usually pay the bill. If one is invited
out socially, but one's host does not offer to pay,
one should be prepared to pay for one's own meal. If
one invites an American counterpart out socially, one
should make it clear whether or not one wishes to pay.
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If one is invited for a meal, one should arrive promptly.
If one is invited to a cocktail party, however, one
can arrive a few minutes late. One need not call ahead
if one is going to be a half hour late to a cocktail
party. However, a courtesy call might be in order in
the case of a dinner party.
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If one is offered food or drink, one is not obliged
to accept it.
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When one visits a home, it is not necessary to take
a gift; however, it is always appreciated. Flowers,
small house plants, or a bottle of wine are all appropriate
choices. In the southern "bible belt" of the
United States, however, one should not take gifts of
wine to non-drinking Baptists. One can also send flowers
ahead of time, so as not to burden your hostess with
taking care of them when you arrive.
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Taking someone out for a meal or other entertainment
is a common gift.
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During meals, the fork is held in the right hand. The
knife is used only to cut or spread something. To use
it, the fork is switched to the left hand or is laid
down; to continue eating, the fork is switched back
to the right hand. This practice is a little different
from the European modality where the fork and knife
are steadfastly retained in the left and right hands
respectively.
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Many foods are appropriately eaten with the hands.
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It is not considered rude to eat while walking; many
people also eat in their cars, even while driving. While
this practice may present a road hazard, it is not culturally
inappropriate in practice.
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At fast-food restaurants, one is expected to clear one's
own table.
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Most parties are informal, unless the host says otherwise.
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Dress is the United States is generally informal, as
exemplified by the popularity of "blue jeans"
in American culture. In business settings, the traditional
business suit is the norm for both women and men, although
in some cases, the style of choice is referred to as
"business casual." Here, dress slacks and
collared shirts would be acceptable choices for men,
while coordinated outfits would be suitable for women.
Some offices may offer "casual Fridays" when
one can dress even more casually, wearing jeans and
the like. However, it is probably best to err on the
side of more conservatism when dressing for the workplace.
Outside the workplace, Americans are notorious for dressing
very casually, even within restaurants. Although the
top tier of such establishments may have dress codes,
in general, American democratization extends fitfully
into the domain of dressing. During the summer months,
women and men are free to wear shorts on the street,
weather permitting, and there are rarely any restrictions
on the lengths and tightness of any pieces of apparel.
There are also a wide variety of styles of clothing
in the United States, from the more traditional fare
to adventurous fads and notions. Likewise, Americans
are fortunate enough to have a variety of venues from
which clothing can be purchased, and suitable for all
sorts of budgets. |
