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Dating Violence and Domestic Violence

 

What is Relationship Violence?
Relationship violence (also known as intimate partner, domestic, or dating violence) is a pattern of controlling behaviors exerted by one partner over the other. This control can take many forms, including verbal abuse, physical battering, sexual assault, emotional abuse and terrorizing tactics, including stalking. It almost always involves psychological manipulation and verbal humiliation.

Intimate partner violence occurs in all socioeconomic, racial, ethnic, national and religious groups. It occurs in heterosexual and same-sex relationships at about the same rates. It affects people of all ages, genders, and physical abilities.

Many physically violent relationships begin with some cruel comments or intentional put-downs. Even if a relationship never turns physically violent, ongoing hurtful words and attitudes can cause self-doubt, self hatred, shame, and severe depression.

Are you in an Abusive Relationship?
Warning Signs
Does your partner...

  • call you names, put you down, or humiliate you?
  • punch, slap, push, kick, or restrain you?
  • threaten or intimidate you?
  • pressure or force you to have sex?
  • say it’s your fault when they hurt you?
  • use jealousy and love as a excuse to control you?
  • make you feel isolated from the rest of your friends or limit the amount of time that you spend outside of your relationship?
  • lose temper quickly and then become sad, depressed, apologetic, or romantic?
  • believe that you should be passive and submissive?

Facts
Relationship and dating violence occurs when one partner tries to maintain power and control over the other through purposeful physical or psychological abuse. Dating violence is a serious crime that occurs in both casual and serious relationships, as well as in heterosexual, same sex, and same gender relationships, and in all racial, economic, and social groups. "Women ages 16 to 24 experience the highest per capita rates of intimate violence--nearly 20 per 1000 women"(Bureau of Justice Special Report: Intimate Partner Violence, May 2000)".

Nearly one-third of American Women (31%) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. (The Commonwealth Fund, Health Concerns Across a Woman’s Lifespan: 1998 Survey of Women’s Health, May 1999)

Intimate partner violence made up 20% of all nonfatal violent crime experienced by women in 2001. (Bureau of Justice Statistics Crime Data Brief, Intimate Partner Violence, 1993-2001, February, 2003)

Approximately 1.9 million women are physically assaulted annually in the United States. That's 1 woman every 15 seconds. (US Department of Justice, 2000)

On average, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in the United States every day. (Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report, "Intimate Partner Violence and Age of Victim, 1993-99," October 2001)

Dating Safety
Consider double-dating the first few times you go out with a new person.

Before leaving on a date, know the exact plans for the evening and make sure a parent or friend knows these plans and what time to expect you home. Let your date know that you are expected to call or tell that person when you get in.

Be aware of your decreased ability to react under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

If you leave a party with someone you do not know well, make sure you tell another person you are leaving and with whom. Ask a friend to call and make sure you arrived home safely.

Assert yourself when necessary. Be firm and straightforward in your relationships.

Trust your instincts. If a situation makes you uncomfortable, try to be calm and think of a way to remove yourself from the situation.

Taken from ACADV.org

Resources
If you are some one you know has been, or may have been, a victim of dating and relationship violence, the Gender Violence Education and Support Services (GVESS) office at the University of Denver can provide free and confidential support and resources. The Gender Violence Resource Center located at GVESS also has several informational handouts that may be helpful. The following resources provide additional information about dating violence and provide contact information for support services outside of the University of Denver.

The National Center for Victims of Crime
Helpline: 1-800-FYI-CALL
TTY: 1-800-211-7996
Monday-Friday 8:30 a.m. - 8:30 p.m. EST
Serving victims in more than 180 languages

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network)
Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (24 hours, free, and confidential)

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: Womenshealth.org

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE

National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline: 1-866-331-9474